Muse by David Teitsma

My attempt to understand and be understood.



I decided to major in sociology based on my desire to learn how individuals react to certain situations. Looking back in my life, I really yearn to observe other's reactions to big news. For the times that I have had big events in my life, I am anxious to tell others, so that I can observe how they react. For instance, if best friend dies and I have to tell my boss at work, or my parents, or 2nd best friend I am really curious to see their face expression, level of empathy,
physical responses, and type of interest (scientific detail, or how I feel).

The funny thing that I realize is that with the major traumatic events in my life I typically don't react act until several hours or a day later. Part of this delay in reacting is because I just don't react. I need to think about it and decide how to act. If someone hurts me I decide to become angry and then become angry. This ties in with my interest of other's reactions, because by observing other people's reaction to my trauma allows me to copy their emotions and react similarly.

A Caveat: I do realize that my reactions are not completely logical decisions.